I never Tasted Love
With flavors of mindblowing Miracles
Until you entered my life
And
We experienced Synchronicities untold!
It simply felt like
Once-in-a-lifetime kinda Love
Until it started falling apart
Due to doubts, fears n suspicion
About the divine miracles
Insinuated in you by those who were close to your heart!
Although, I fought and condemned
All of them who went against Us
Friends, family, loved ones, well wishers all...
Who questioned me
Choosing You
Over a proposal
That walked up to me
On it's own
For tying a knot
With someone
Loaded with diamonds and gold
They tried and tried
To convince me
That Girls and Women
Die for and penance hard
For such once-in-a-lifetime proposal
That brings a lifetime of unimaginable luxuries and comfort
From a man who wants
to declare to the World
That you are only his own
I turned a blind eye to all
Ignored the many chatters in my Head
Listened only to my Heart
To keep the sanctity of "Us" safe and pure
Against All Odds!
They scorned me and asked
Whats it is so special about You
I then became 'still'
& replied
"I have never experienced
The unbelievable Divine miracles
Experienced only when I am with this soul!"
They said, this is too good to be trusted for long!
And stood their grounds firm
That I was surely missing out something
And my facts were surely somewhere Wrong
They counselled me
Day-in Day-out and manifolds
They tried convincing me
That denying a wedding proposal
With someone willing to offer you a lifetime vow
To provide you a larger-than-life dream home
For the one who doesn't even bother
And shy away to call you his own...
Will be nothing more, but a foolish self sabotage
Done by your ownself, to the could-be beautiful life
And future security of your own
You may or may not realise this someday
But if and when you do,
It will be too late, when the opportunity is gone!
And so You!
My dear supposedly once-in-a-lifetime kinda love
Yes, You proved them to be correct, in a way!
Coz YES I did Loose A Lot!
Although material loss aint a Loss for me
Coz thats never the centre of my Life as oppose to yours!
However that which I lost, was indeed invaluable
T'was My self-confidence, my pride, my self-respect
And above all, my faith in myself and the world!
But the most precious of all that I lost
Was my Dearest loving caring Father,
With whom distances had grown
For Reason of choosing "US"
Despite the clear warnings and hints
About you that He had shown!
And sadly, I never knew
I had only a very little time left
To spend with him
Before he was long gone
From this 3D world!
Apart from all these losses,
I faced foremore storms unknown
That kept arising one after the other ...
As a huge price to pay for choosing "You"
Over the love, care and caution of Loved ones,
Finally, Losing their warmth, care & the wisdom of the advising wellwishers !
Just everytime a storm would arise
I would remember the cruel words from you
"Don't worry, God is with you!"
Spoken at a time when you left me all alone!
Ah! How I wish! Only if I had known...
What I am taking a stand for
Was nothing but an illusion -
Only an Oasis of Love!
...While I was broken, I so damn hated myself
For giving chances to "US" over and over again
For choosing to believe in Divine Miracles
Instead of the many Red Flags thrown!
I could Never fathom in my wildest dreams ever
What I were to face for my decision
To choose A Muse of a Once-in-a-lifetime kinda Love!
I still feel the piercing pain
Of How My Heart and My eyes
Saw The One who entered life
Like a fresh breeze with Promises to stay forever,
Alas! Betrayed me and Left me all alone
For greener pastures of a glammy doll
In the middle of raging storms!
The pain and agony was beyond words
But this drama finally led me
Onto a new journey
For my Quest
Of finding The answers
To the unbearable Pain Of
"Why me God?" -
"What have I done to deserve this?" -
"I only LOVED with All of myself!!!!"
A Quest to Find Reasons for Failures
And to Find the Truth about everything
I was made to Taste & experience
From beginning to end in that Love
A Quest to find Reasons
Why all the beauty & innocence
That ever existed between us
Turned into Ashes of nothingness
And only painful memories and trauma
Was left behind with me alone?
T'was the desperation for liberation
From the Utmost excruciating Pain
And the burning desire for salvation
That pushed me to go beyond my horizons
And in the process simply Flow & Evolve
To the unapologetic Epiphanies
About Why and Where was "I" all throughout going wrong...
It was revealed to me
In the most amazing ways
About How the Flawed illusions and delusions
Of myself and of the world
Created unhealthy patterns in me
Lacking Self-care & Self-love
And caused all the miseries in life unfold
And thus it ushered in
The realization of A New "Me" !
That arose from the ashes like a Phoenix
And from that point onwards
Walking on the path of self-love,
The Divine Sphynx in me was re-born!
My humble gratitude to You
For pushing me to this wake-up call
For walking me through this journey
Filled with Divine miracles
That doomed the "I"
And bloomed my "Inner Eye"
Once it was over and gone!
And That very journey
Led me on the path of awakening
To the Truth of my
Innermost and Higher Soul!
Looking back now... I realise that
While initially T'was only You and I
In the earlier part of the journey
It appeared to me as "Unrequited Love"
However,
With the grace of Almighty God
And stepping in of my Higher Soul
In the later part of the journey of Healing
To mend the broken Me, without You
I was lovingly reunited
With my True Self, lo and behold!
And This!!!
Is, what I was made to
Realise, Feel, See and Be very grateful for
As "True Self Love" requited to me
From the Divine Realm
That was meant to awaken my Soul !
-Meraki Pegasus
(Meraki Indeed Loves Divine Forever and ever....)